Wanna be a Rock Star!

Back to blogging once again.. Always nth good when i blog. This had always been a practice i guess.. Facing alot of stress as days goes by... Just dont feel like doing anything, esp coming to work and going home. Had a peaceful 3 nights when they are away. How i wish everyday is like that. Sounds wrong for a family member to say like tat? I guess so too.. Jie and louis have been telling me the same thing. Mend the hole 1st. But its really fucking tough. I did tried. I TRIED! AND I TRIED! I did tried to talk to them nicely.. Trying to find out the best possible solutions out of it.. I really understand where they are coming from but the problem is.. Why cant they understand and let me choose the path i wanna go? I am not doing something that is againist the law.. I really have a clear directions in life of wat i wanted to do and i really will succeed in. I really believe that i can do it.. But u guys keep on claiming that u will support me and give me freedom to do watever i wanted that i think it maybe good for my future. Thats not the case.. Whenever i discuss with u, u will have ur own point of view and reasoning it out with me and overthrow my decision. I have been a puppet for 22 years.. I REALLY WANTS TO LEAD MY OWN FUCKING LIFE! WHY FORCE ME TO GO UR PATH THAT U WANTED? I AM OLD ENFF TO BE RESPONSIBLE FOR MY OWN ACTIONS! Why always compare me with him? Does it mean that if u have a good paper qualifications and high flyers in school will makes u successful in life? I went normal after psle u guys says that i have no future. Its becoz i am lazy. After N level, u listen to the year master bull shit says that its better for me to go to ITE and i will nv succeed even if i went poly.. After i went poly, u said tat i will spent years that and nv be able to graduate from there... BUT IN THE END.. WAT HAPPEN!! I MAKE MY WAY THRU AND GET AT LEAST THE MIN EDUCATION TAT IS REQUIRED FOR MYSELF TO SURVIVE IN THIS COMPETITIVE SOCIETY! Argh.. Whatever i do u guys condemn.. No matter how much i does, even if i get a PHD u guys will nv be satisfy.. I just wants to move out of this house seriously and nv come back again.. Its because i dont have a stable income now and i need u guys to support me even though i get my allowances, u guys have control over me and says over me.. Showing me faces when i goes home.. In work i see faces. after work i see faces.. even at home i still need to see faces... I WILL GO CRAZY AND BREAKDOWN SOON!!! I WILL BE TELLING U STRAIGHT AGAIN EVERY SINGLE DAY.. I WANTS TO WORK AND EARN AS MUCH AS I COULD IN THIS 2 YEARS AFTER MY NS! THE MONEY THAT I OWED U I WILL RETURN ASAP! THIS IS THE DIRECTION I WANTED IN LIFE! I DONT WANT TO STUDY 1ST! JUST LET ME BE ALRIGHT! EVEN IF U FORCE ME AND I REALLY DID MAKE IT, I WILL NOT DO WELL! I PROMISE THAT I WILL NOT REGRET IN MY DECISION ALRIGHT.. AND LASTLY STOP PRESSING ME FOR MONEY!! WHAT I LEFT NOW IS MY LIFE! IF U WANT JUST TAKE IT.. THATS ALL!