Wanna be a Rock Star!

Have received my training schedules for this 2 months before ex wallaby. Its kinda busy schedule as 3 guys just ord-ed. Branches and formation duties are getting more! Really cant wait to get back my pink ic in 9 more mths time! It has been long since i haven been enjoying civilian life. How i wished i can enjoyed it and cherish it again! Tmr will be me and baby 6 mths. Time flies, it has been 6 mths alr.. Went thru my all my 1st time time tgt with her. 1st time taking such "exciting" ride with her at genting. 1st time going to batam with her. 1st time exploring many many things tgt. And lastly going thru life and death tgt. Although i am perfectly alright and not hurt at all but there is this scar in my heart that will be always there. It really really hurts me when i see u are helpless with ur single hand. I just felt all my guilt is rushing up my mind. I just dont know how to express it out i feel that i should keep all this to myself as i am the main cause cause of it. The moment when u told me that u couldnt carry me anymore next time when i am drunk in the lift days back, my tears burst out in my heart. I dont know how to put it in words but the feel of my heart is like its gonna cry that kind of feeling. And this sentence u told me had been going thru my mind as and when my mind isnt occupied with things. This words is really hurting my heart intensively compare to all the hurting stuff that u mention before.. - " i couldnt carry u when u are drunk again next time "