小明星

2011-08-09T23:29:00.002+08:00

National day! Happy birthday singapore! A day rest for me today and tmr back to work again! Haiz. Sianz max! Nonetheless did enjoy myself today. Slept in the noon almost the whole noon! Then went JP for national day dinner. And send her to work after that. I guess im gonna super miss her for the next 3 days as will be super busy caught up with the upcoming projects to rush. Haiz. sad. And i really really does miss her alot but when coming face to face to meet her, i would put up another strong front side of myself to deny it. And how i wish i could tell her face to face smth like, "Hey babe, i really do miss alot." - maybe a peck on the cheek? but haiz, still shy to do it ya. AM I REALLY REALLY DEEPLY INTO HER???????????? ARGHHH.. I guess so ba..

2011-08-05T23:32:00.002+08:00

Yeah! Work is picking up! Exclusive projects is coming and i got hell lots of positions to do! Got see $$$ coming in soon! Wahahahahah. My luck is here! Woooohoooo~ For health wise, haiz.. Keeps on feels like vomitting! Seen a doctor also no use. Doesnt helps at all! But already see it through already, if destinated to die early then let it be ba! Sigh..

Now im thinking too much i guess? Why am i keep on thinking about her? Why am i so crazy about her? Looking at her resume everyday when i got free time, thinking about her and somehow smiling to myself when im smoking, feels excited after 6 and wanting to rush back home and fetch her to see her, keeps on thinking too much when i cant see her, feels happy yet putting up a brave front in front of her, loves but keep on denying, wants to have close intamacy with her bu act one cool. WTF is wrong with meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

2011-07-25T19:05:00.002+08:00

Almost closed to 2mths in this job. Begin to feel that actually this job is not really for me. Think gonna leave this job in another 3 mth time when i found a suitable one. Like Tour Consultant if not SIA positon as cabin crew. Somehow life is like that when u thought u have found wat u really want it turns out not being that case.

I think i must be crazy! It has past quite some time ago alr and suddenly ytd night when i was slping i dreamt of her again. And i keep on dreaming of her and it makes me hard to go back to slp again the whole night. Even today when im having my lunch i think of her again. When im taking breaks in between i starts to think again. I think im really thinking too much.. LHT STOP THINKING AND DREAMING AND GET UR MIND TO WORKING MODE!!!

2011-06-26T20:29:00.002+08:00

It has been 2 weeks of my civilian life and working life. Hmm it has been good so far. Has been adpating to it already.:) People in the workplace has been good so far. I would say that they are patience and fun people. As for my boss.. Hes kinda nice and helpful in terms of guiding me thru as a rookie in this industry. Taught me alot of things and give me alot of pointers to guide me thru. Having said that, at the same time i feel that hes too caution in selection of candidate that somehow my point of view doesnt match with his working style. Maybe im a little kind of risk taker as compared to him. Nonetheless i will still listen to his advise and move on as im still new to the industry.. Maybe after a longer peiod of time then i will have my own way of handling things:D

Never in my life i would thought that i can still talk to her as a fren. Hmm but after last fri, somehow i feel that shes not a bad afterall as a fren. Hmm somehow shes right. Doesnt mean not a couple anymore can sit down and talk as a fren. And i kind of like the way we talk now in a peaceful manner. And suddenly in the topic came across whats shes actually seeking for in a r/s. At the same time somehow understand actually what she really needs and seek for in terms of the other partner. Someone who can actually care and understand her deeply inside her heart well enough without letting her feels that u are actually intefering her life and make new changes in her life that shes unable to accept and get used to it. Anyway hoped that she will be happy in whatever she does and hoped that the other party will appear to her soon so she can stop waiting.. Hahaha.. All in all.. 1 FREN GAINED!

2011-05-30T18:43:00.003+08:00

FUCK!!!!!!! I like playing with fire!!! I dont even remember the most important details. FUCK!

2011-05-16T20:45:00.002+08:00

15 MORE WORKING DAYS TO ORD!!! IM GONNA DECLARE WAR WITH U IF U KEEP PUSHING US TO THE WALL!!!! WE ARE NOT A BUNCH OF NAVIE KIDS FOR U TO MAKAN!!!!! FUCK!

2011-04-25T00:03:00.002+08:00

Back to my own personal space here again.. Have been drinking all weekends long man.. Seems like my life cant goes without alcohol now.. Same old lifetyle.. Went malaysia on fri... The queue over at malaysia customs is KILLING MAN! LOW EFFICIENCY OF THE OFFICERS THERE!! Waited for like near to an hour for our passport to be stamped! Trip was fun there. Went over there to try the duck rice and shopped there. Didnt know there is a new mall there.. Went drinking in the night again at safra. Sat went over to beds with same old gang.. Sunday meet up with daniel and chad for a gathering at chomp chomp! Was kinda enjoyable..

Finally had found a job that i really like but my dad was kinda againist it now. WTF with investment banking being a personal banker? Told them selling insurance is part of the job but not totally! Job also deals with OTHER INVESTMENT! AND I DRAWS A FUCKING HIGH BASIC SALARY WITH COMMISSION! DOES IT MEAN THAT I NEEDS TO BE IN THE GOVT SECTOR LIKE SIGNING ON ARMY ALL THESE THEN IS GOOD? FUCK THAT MAN! I AM GONNA GO TOWARDS MY WAY! 5 YEARS FROM NOW, I AM GONNA MADE IT TO BE A PRIVATE BANKING BANKER!

2011-04-19T22:03:00.002+08:00

2nd last day of EX DP. And i am back from 2 days MC. Get fucked by that fucking sly fox. Must be that bitch stirred the shit again. " WHY ALWAYS EX U ALWAYS TAKE MC AND GET SICK AT THAT TIME? DO U KNOW ITS VERY DISGUSTING AND POTRAY VERY BAD IMAGE IF URSELF? " Feels like telling that sly fox back. " WHAT ABT U FUCKING OLD FOX. DONT U FIND URSELF EVEN MORE DISGUSTING BEHAVING INTIMATELY WITH THAT OLD BITCH WHEREBY BOTH OF YOUR ARE MARRIED? SUCH A SCANDALOUS SCENE. LOOK WHO IS MORE DISGUSTING. U OR ME? " Nvm i will just ate a humble pie as i respect u as a senior citizen. 1 MORE MONTH TO ORD!

2011-04-18T18:35:00.002+08:00

If i really loves u, i need to let go everything and set u free, if fated. Fates will bring us back one day? - How ironic.

2011-04-17T15:40:00.002+08:00

Erased the memories, start a new life - this could be said easy but when its done its extremely difficult! Why am i still holding on to it?

2011-04-15T21:31:00.002+08:00

The flashback scene keeps revolving around my mind which makes me couldnt stop looking back. Does time really heals wound?

2011-04-14T10:40:00.003+08:00

Back to this personal space of mine again and finally set it to private mode. Took a self proclaim 2 days off before the exercise starts. It was damn boring during exercise preparation! Fri is the start of EX Diamond Plexus and both weekends will be burnt this week! ARGH!! 14 hours shift at TRADOC makes me feels tortured! I wondered how am i gonna reached pasir laba camp at 7am everyday! But no use complaining too, at the end of the day still have to do it. My LAST EXERCISE before ORD! Hope it will be a good and enjoyable one! Have been pondering this question over and over again. Is going to Beijing and study a good choice? Maybe as we grow older we tends to think alot as compared to when we were young whereby we have nth much to think about. For instance, can i adpat to the changes there? What about the friends i have made here? How can i convince myself to take the 1st step? As we grew older we are more timid as compared to when we were young we are bolder in terms of making decisions. Its pretty difficult i guessed. Just like forgeting someone who had deeply planted in your heart. Its the same theory. Well, maybe it takes time for me to walk out of it maybe i wont know. Or maybe she would just remains in my heart forever and no one could replace even though how much i tries to hate. Its just human affection i guess? The deeper u loved the harder it is for u to forget? Sometimes i think this to myself, it would be good if humans are born without feelings thus we wont feels so tortured and vex over love issues and people wont get hurt in love? And sometimes pretend to be happy in the crowd actually u feels empty in ur heart and still thinking about her. ARGH. Time to sign off.. i am thinking deeper and deeper again.. SHIT!

吃完镀了金的牛排镶了钻的蛋胃还是那么的孤单

只有一想到了晚餐有妳的笑下饭漫长的一天才不难捱

穿着限量版的衬衫羡慕声不断也没让我觉得温暖

如果不是有妳呼吸在皮肤上不散怎么抵御世界的冷淡

幸福是一想到妳就心安

地要老天要荒的谁还想管

幸福是一起醒来说早安

海枯石烂这种大事与我无关

听过圣诗般的称赞嘘寒或问暖耳朵也开不出花瓣

直到妳在电话那端问我几点下班动听得让心花灿烂

攀过最纯白的雪山最澎湃的海回忆也没有更精彩

直到妳侧脸的曲线在我手心蜿蜒才懂得什么事最浪漫

幸福是完成妳每一个期盼

登月或摘星留给谁去狂欢

幸福是陪着妳回味遗憾

伟大的圆满与我们真的无关

2011-04-04T22:31:00.003+08:00

Back to penning down my thoughts again. Im really sorry to "u" for purposely ignoring u and stating im busy always for not replying your text. I can be a good fren but i cant be a good partner.. I dont wished to lose a good fren like u. Just take it as im not good enough for u. And i just want to enjoy what i had now with my frens and buddy. After going through 1 r/s i still choose buddy over "u" as no matter how i neglects them they are always there for me when i needs them and they will nv abandon me.. They are even closer than my own blood bros. And she's still in my heart as i still cant forgets about her no matter how bad shes to me, i'll still wait for her as shes the one that truely understand what kind of person and how im like. Somehow i really hoped and pray that 1 day fate will bring us back again. I know its negative to think this way, but my heart stills nv dies no matter how much i wanted to hate her. Im really sorry that i cant accept u no matter what.

从你的眼角慢慢地明了

我能做的很少

原来你藏着伤但不想和我聊

你选的电影像某种预告

不坦白的主角

最后流着眼泪坚持独自走掉

散场的拥抱我还在燃烧

但你心里的浪潮拒绝让我看到

你煎熬不肯定什么是最想要

爱才又像乐园又像监牢

散场的拥抱混乱的心跳

多宁愿只是争吵还能道歉和好

我知道你留着和他所有合照

明明面前是答案却撕掉不要

呵护地祈祷温柔地讨好

爱能让人渺小

苦笑冒充微笑浪漫得不肯逃

散场的拥抱我还在燃烧

但你心里的浪潮拒绝让我看到

你煎熬不肯定什么是最想要

爱才又像乐园又像监牢

散场的拥抱混乱的心跳

多宁愿只是争吵还能道歉和好

我知道我们和你们不能比较

但我的爱多强悍出乎你预料

散场的拥抱我还在燃烧

但你心里的浪潮拒绝让我看到

你煎熬不肯定什么是最想要

爱才又像乐园又像监牢

散场的拥抱混乱的心跳

多宁愿只是争吵还能道歉和好

我知道太美的回忆像副手铐

越是挣脱越缠绕我比你明了

2011-04-03T15:52:00.002+08:00

ITS APRIL! 2 MORE MONTHS TO ORD! I am really looking forward to that day! Finally i had found a job after i ORDed! Personal Banker at HSBC! Although no difference from selling insuarance package and doing wealth management invesment for clients but just give it a shot. Good basic pay and good commission. A rewarding career that i can look forward to since i loved investment. Had been pubbing almost every weekend with buddies at BEDS! BEDS had changed so much ever since i last went. AND ALL MY SCHOOL MATES LOVE TO WORK THERE! Met my pri school mate fren working there. It was a fun and chilling night.

FUCK MYSELF! Somehow after for months, my mind still couldnt get over u. I really wished that i could let a new life. Even listening to songs i would think of u. When im alone i would think of u. Even when i slp i dreamt of u! FML SERIOUSLY! If time could turned back i wish that u nv exist in my life before! Now all what i needed to do is to ignore u. Hopefully when time passes by, i would be able to forget u completely!

For all of the time that i tried for your smile

For making you think that i was worth the while

So your love love love love love would be mine

For sending you flowers and holding your hand

That no one was there to take a stand

But then love love love made us blind

And I’m so sorry that I hurt you

Sorry that I fell through

Sorry i was falling in love with you

I’m sorry that it came true

But sorry doesn’t turn back time

For all that i have done to you

I wish that i could make it right

So sorry that i loved you

Sorry that i needed you

Sorry that i hold you tight

And I’m So sorry for...

Making you love me and saying goodbye

For being the one that taught you how to cry

It was love love love and it passed us by

For giving you every thing that you dreamed

For taking it back when i fled the scenesorry love,for wasting your time

And I’m so sorry that I hurt you

Sorry that I fell through

Sorry i was falling in love with you

I’m sorry that it came true

But sorry doesn’t turn back time

For all that i have done to you

I wish that i could make it right

I’m so sorry that i loved you

Sorry that i needed you

Sorry that i hold you tight

And apology now after all of this time

Won’t make my difference tonight

But I’m hoping I’m Sorry will open your mind

To love love love love in your life

Sorry that i hurt you

Sorry that i fell through

Sorry i was falling in love with you

I’m sorry that it came true

But sorry doesn’t turn back time

For all that i have done to you

I wish that i could make it right

So sorry that i hurt you

Sorry that i fell through

Sorry i was falling in love with you

I’m sorry that it came true

But sorry do can’t turn back time

I’m sorry that i loved you

I’m sorry that i hurt you

I’m so sorry that i loved you

I’m sorry that i hurt you

Sorry that i loved you

2011-03-06T16:06:00.002+08:00

It has been a busy week. Nv ending training during this period of ICT makes me real shag. This is the 1st time i feels like a real trainer. Training a battalion size of troops for role playing. Somehow i feel a sense of achievement but the same time i still miss the slack life that we had in the office. Life is more organise there as compared to now, whereby we can leave promply at 5.30 and such.. Having said that tmr will be stay out in the urban field area! Sucks man. Haven been experiencing this since long ever since my days in sispec. Almost close to a year. And now before ord, gonna experience this again. SIANZATION! Thinking it in a positive way, just finish this asap and my days would be numbered in the army already. Less than 3 working months more to ORD! Really looking forward to it after spending 2 yrs of my youth in it.

Never feels so hurt and pain before in my whole entire life. It just feels like something piercing deep into ur heart and u can hardly breathe. Endless nightmares filled up my slp. If i got the power of life, i would end it now to stop the pain from expanding further.

2011-02-20T14:25:00.003+08:00

Another day had passed. And tomorrow its working day again. All this will ends in 3 months plus time. Jobs interviewing cal keeps on coming in, but date of availability is the killer part which makes me lose opportunity. Whatever it is, i had choosen the path, thus i will not look back again. Let me uses this time to bulit up my own career before i ord. At least i will have a small start and get use to the pace so when i ord i will have greater achievements. I supposed. Have been drinking too much over last year, till my liver isnt functioning well. Finally found out the cuased of my hand shaking root. Prelims suspect by doctor isnt foolproof but everything still needs to wait for the 1st prelim test is done so to have a clear picture of it. But still, it just an advise, i cant possible gave up on drinking. maybe drink lesser might helps? I suppose. How many 10 yrs does a person have. How many 10 yrs can a person really lived up to. But whats important is, fight for ur own future with ur own hands and build up the empire that u wanted for. Fighting for something u love, the process of doing it is not easy. But does it means that u need to gave up totally when u sees no hope in it? Isnt it supposed to be the way that u go all the way out and fight till the end until the last breathe of ur life? Isnt it supposed to be the fighting spirits that one should have? Sometimes thinking to myself, am i really wrong? Am i really overly aggressive towards this r/s? What is it that i really cant let go.? The only thing i know is when i let it go, this would be the greatest regret i had. So what should i do. Enlighten me pls. Show me the path pls.

2011-02-19T22:42:00.002+08:00

Problems are nv ending. Just get fucked again for bills. This time round is more serious. At the present stage now, how am i gonna get such a big sum of cash out. Seriously i dont really know. But its god bless that i met jimmy ytd and after a small tak, we managed to open out our hearts and talk. He is a indeed someone whom i respected. Be it in his career or even his personal charcater. he is willing to pay off my debts for me and bring me under his wings. Thank you boss. Personally i feels that my life is always smooth even when it comes to problems, somehow i would be lucky enough to meet a benefactor to salvage problems for me. Perhaps its really god blessing that i am really blessed. Jimmy taught me lots of things be it in life or in career or in future planning. Anyway once again, i am gonna walked this tough journey of being 1/2 a boss of a industry that i knows nth and needs to start from scratch. Think back and look back although i dont have a fantastic results in terms of love, at least god is not that bad in letting me have something in my career. But thinking back, whats the point having so much money later in when u dont have a person whom u love to share all these with u when u have it? Life just cant balance for both isnt it.?

2011-02-15T20:19:00.002+08:00

Was valentine day ytd. This yr i am not alone. Finally i am given a chance to give flowers and gift to a girl. My 1ST TIME, FINALLY! Well everyone got their 1st time,i am not expectional as well. Thank you isabel gum for taking up ur time for the accompany during this day.

Life sucks. Its a painful lost. Sometimes during the point of impulsive, u tends to throw out certain things that is not true and not thinking about the consequence. It doesnt take u to perfect in everything but at least basic care for each other and communication as well i guess for a pair to substain in a healthy r/s. Taking a little bit more effort to understand another party, understanding their needs and stuff. Affections brings each other closer. i guess so,perhaps. Things just dont goes smooth for me whenever i wanted to do something, hipcup tends to arise making me dont have the opportunity. Maybe i dont see it when its already given to me? However its too late to say anything now. Salvaging the problem is most importantly now. No matter how painful the process is along the way, or its even near to impossible, the bottom line is nv give up. I believe if u truely loves a person, u will give urself all in and uses ur sincerity, she will know it. And i wants u to feel it too.

I hope that once again u would open the door of urs an allows me to walk into ur heart again. I will used the best lock that i had to lock it and nv let it slip away again. And u are the one and only i love with my life. No betrayal. No nothing. - My promise to u.

我还记得我们的约定
一辈子幸福的约定
为你写的那首歌
他也偷偷的掉泪了
我比以前还更爱你了
连那风都笑我了
我想他会告诉你的我更爱你了

2011-01-19T23:07:00.002+08:00

Have been neglecting this little space of mine for 3 MONTHS! It has been 1yr 7 mths of my ns liabilities. 5 more mths to go before i ORD! That would be the most precious moment in my life! Have been sending out resume and waiting for response from the companies. Back to square one. Will be doing the job i dont really like, software engineering. Thats the cruelty of the society. However will be swtiching over to project management after 2 yrs of working exp. See how it goes ba.

I just hate wat i am going thru now. Its miserable, its extremely saddening and hurting. But this is my decision and own will. I just have to go thru it in pain. i really envy those sweet pairs whom can substain long out there.

2010-10-26T00:52:00.002+08:00

Moving out of the paradise soon.. Goodbye maju camp.. Welcome myself to hell in 3 days time.. HQ GUARDS! A place whereby everyone hated the most.. 2 more weeks to EX WALLABY.. 8 more months to ORD! Good news, for myself. OH YEAH OH YEAH! Newly promoted to 3SG! Thanks for all the blessing from CPT Tan and the rest of my counterparts. Thanks guys..

I hate to be treated this way. I HATE I HATE I HATE IT!! I feels neglected. I know i am silly yet i still wants to go on.. WTF is wrong with meeeeeee.. FUCK U HTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT.. But i just cant dont care abt u. I just cant leave u.. I just cant walk away from u from my life.. I dont mind being a fool.. 2 more weeks and i am gonna miss u like i nv miss before in my whole entire life.. I swear this gonna be serious.. FUCK U HT CAN U FUCKING WAKE UP UR IDEA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-10-17T22:53:00.002+08:00

Back to my beloved blog.. A place whereby i can pen down my everything... Firstly i am just too lazy to pack my kit bag for inspection.. Coz its a hassle man! ARGHHH! Going oversea ex is a torture.. I dont really enjoy the packing process... Haiz.. Went hospital again today.. When age is catching up their body functionality tends to slow down and problems starts to get in.. Different stage of life exp different problems.. Thats wat the world is created for. Not for the perfection but for the sin that everyone commit that causes all kinds of problems. This is life. Giving in ur all doesnt mean u are good, u can be bad nor foolish too.. Win Win situation doesnt always exist but some does. However chances are low. I am feeling more and more insecured, and sometimes to the extend that i really wanted to vent my frustrations out but i just cant bear to do it.. I teared. i cried.. i felt pained... I just cant bear to do it.... seriously..... perhaps i just suck big time ya..... WoOOooOooHOooOoOOoOo~ Maybe work can helps... I guess.. 3SG FOR ME PLSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS......

2010-10-07T22:40:00.002+08:00

Back to blogging once again.. Always nth good when i blog. This had always been a practice i guess.. Facing alot of stress as days goes by... Just dont feel like doing anything, esp coming to work and going home. Had a peaceful 3 nights when they are away. How i wish everyday is like that. Sounds wrong for a family member to say like tat? I guess so too.. Jie and louis have been telling me the same thing. Mend the hole 1st. But its really fucking tough. I did tried. I TRIED! AND I TRIED! I did tried to talk to them nicely.. Trying to find out the best possible solutions out of it.. I really understand where they are coming from but the problem is.. Why cant they understand and let me choose the path i wanna go? I am not doing something that is againist the law.. I really have a clear directions in life of wat i wanted to do and i really will succeed in. I really believe that i can do it.. But u guys keep on claiming that u will support me and give me freedom to do watever i wanted that i think it maybe good for my future. Thats not the case.. Whenever i discuss with u, u will have ur own point of view and reasoning it out with me and overthrow my decision. I have been a puppet for 22 years.. I REALLY WANTS TO LEAD MY OWN FUCKING LIFE! WHY FORCE ME TO GO UR PATH THAT U WANTED? I AM OLD ENFF TO BE RESPONSIBLE FOR MY OWN ACTIONS! Why always compare me with him? Does it mean that if u have a good paper qualifications and high flyers in school will makes u successful in life? I went normal after psle u guys says that i have no future. Its becoz i am lazy. After N level, u listen to the year master bull shit says that its better for me to go to ITE and i will nv succeed even if i went poly.. After i went poly, u said tat i will spent years that and nv be able to graduate from there... BUT IN THE END.. WAT HAPPEN!! I MAKE MY WAY THRU AND GET AT LEAST THE MIN EDUCATION TAT IS REQUIRED FOR MYSELF TO SURVIVE IN THIS COMPETITIVE SOCIETY! Argh.. Whatever i do u guys condemn.. No matter how much i does, even if i get a PHD u guys will nv be satisfy.. I just wants to move out of this house seriously and nv come back again.. Its because i dont have a stable income now and i need u guys to support me even though i get my allowances, u guys have control over me and says over me.. Showing me faces when i goes home.. In work i see faces. after work i see faces.. even at home i still need to see faces... I WILL GO CRAZY AND BREAKDOWN SOON!!! I WILL BE TELLING U STRAIGHT AGAIN EVERY SINGLE DAY.. I WANTS TO WORK AND EARN AS MUCH AS I COULD IN THIS 2 YEARS AFTER MY NS! THE MONEY THAT I OWED U I WILL RETURN ASAP! THIS IS THE DIRECTION I WANTED IN LIFE! I DONT WANT TO STUDY 1ST! JUST LET ME BE ALRIGHT! EVEN IF U FORCE ME AND I REALLY DID MAKE IT, I WILL NOT DO WELL! I PROMISE THAT I WILL NOT REGRET IN MY DECISION ALRIGHT.. AND LASTLY STOP PRESSING ME FOR MONEY!! WHAT I LEFT NOW IS MY LIFE! IF U WANT JUST TAKE IT.. THATS ALL!

2010-10-05T00:12:00.002+08:00

Went out with bro louis and have a heart to heart talk.. Didnt know that both of us, dragon babies, being condemn by our families could have similar things in common.. He really straighten up my tots.. I really thanks him by spending 50 bucks on drinks.. WATERFALL!!! hahaa... But really worth it.. Families ma so its ok.. He wanted to call his dad to transfer and treat me a bottle but i refused! Next time will be ur treat bro:D haha.. I really have clear directions of wat i wanna be and wat i wants to do.. He is younger than me yet he has gone thru much more than me.. serect shant be let out here, as wat he told me. Honesty is the most impt thing in r/s. And i am willing to tell u all the truth.. Hope u would let me have a chance to whipped u a dinner tmr.. Hope its edible:(

Things that i done maybe deem unfit to u.. but I know it would benefits both.. Truth are just too hard to be untold.. Babe bel i know i hurt u deeply. Please forgive me:(

这感觉已经不对

我努力在挽回

一些些应该体贴的感觉我没给

你嘟嘴许的愿望很卑微在妥协

是我忽略你不过要人陪

这感觉已经不对

我最后才了解

一页页不忍翻阅的情节

你好累你默背为我掉过几次泪多憔悴

而我心碎你受罪你的美我不配

2010-09-28T23:09:00.001+08:00

I waited. I waited. and i waited.

为何爱你这么累
为何总是我不对
伤口隐隐作痛
不想自怜
我还有明天
为何爱你这么累
为何得不到安慰
悔不当初
我曾是你的宝贝

2010-09-27T22:55:00.002+08:00

Back to this place again. A place for release, a place of many untold stories. I teared, i cried, i bleed when i wrote the letter. There is alot alot of things i wanted to tell u. Things have changed as days goes by.. Times whereby we used to communicate on phone are gone.. Actually i really have lots and lots of things to tell u on the phone.. This had stop due to the long quarrels months back and had disappear when times goes by.. Everytime wanted to tell u something but we are always quarrelling and u refuses to pick up my calls. More and more quarrels each day.. Lesser and lesser time for each other each day too. I really tried. I tried my best to rush home after work and i really did plan to go places with u.. Had more time for each other everyday.. But it always failed. U refuses to gave up ur slp and come down early for me.. If not there will crowds joining.. Things are no longer the same as before, no matter how much i put in, end result is still the same.. I feel more and more useless each day, more and more demoralise each day from ur scoldings. I also had my own feelings, i also wished to be appreciatd at times.I miss the times we webcam, I miss the time we chatted on the phone, i miss the time - all the good times we had with less quarrels. I just miss every single thing that is used to be in the past. I may not the the number 1 boy but at least give me a chance to be number 2.

怎么了你累了说好的幸福呢

我懂了不说了爱淡了梦远了

开心与不开心一一细数着你在不舍

那些爱过的感觉都太深刻

我都还记得

你不等了说好的幸福呢

我错了泪干了放手了后悔了

只是回忆的音乐盒还旋转着

要怎么停呢

2010-09-24T13:59:00.004+08:00

ARGH.. Fuck excel.. I HAVE PROBLEMS COMPLETING MY TASK AND MONDAY IS THE DUE DATE FOR ME!! Cfm will get a 1 * good one from WO liew and dy too.. I just wan to get out from army asap!!!! Lowly paid job, 101% expectations and no freedom... Sucks big time man! ARMY IS NOT FOR MOST OF THE MALES I GUESS.. Guess ppl just sign on because they got no choice.. Each got their untold stories... I have heard many different types of it.. Since SAF knows it y cant they revamp it? 3G army, whereby their regulations is still 1G? Argh. freedom. freedom. freedom.

Back to sqaure one. Guess this life i wont have the fortune to enjoy normal dating life. Hey guys and ladies out there.. can u guys stop being so sweet in the public... Its ugly! TOUGH GAL ROX!

Ps: Qingyi jieeeeeeeeeeeeeee.. If u happen to pass by my blog. pls help me revamp it by putting in new S.H.E pics! haaha.. OWE U 1 BIG BIG MEAL AGAIN! PROVIDED IF U GOT TIME TO CLAIM IT! :D THANKS LOT!

2010-09-24T00:17:00.003+08:00

Wooohooo~ I am in serious debt lo.. Wahahahhahahhaha... Nv ending bills coming in.. Oct allowance will be gone again... insurance loan, car installment... hmm, just wrote in to tp this afternoon.. Hoped that they will accept my reasons and defer my payment to 10dec... if not, i think i will need to commit suicide le... Hmm, think if i die the insurance money is enough for my family to become a millionaire yea. COOL PI LE MAN! OH YEAHHHHHHHHHHHH!

~Dearest lord in heaven, if i die bring thy soul up to the skies and let ye honour u thy lord with my humble soul and let me be your servant as lord u gave me life.~ Bless miss isabel gum as she will be the person that i will feel that i owe her.. Bless her with a good partner if thou left her earlier than she does.. in jesus name i pray amen.

2010-09-07T23:03:00.002+08:00

Have received my training schedules for this 2 months before ex wallaby. Its kinda busy schedule as 3 guys just ord-ed. Branches and formation duties are getting more! Really cant wait to get back my pink ic in 9 more mths time! It has been long since i haven been enjoying civilian life. How i wished i can enjoyed it and cherish it again! Tmr will be me and baby 6 mths. Time flies, it has been 6 mths alr.. Went thru my all my 1st time time tgt with her. 1st time taking such "exciting" ride with her at genting. 1st time going to batam with her. 1st time exploring many many things tgt. And lastly going thru life and death tgt. Although i am perfectly alright and not hurt at all but there is this scar in my heart that will be always there. It really really hurts me when i see u are helpless with ur single hand. I just felt all my guilt is rushing up my mind. I just dont know how to express it out i feel that i should keep all this to myself as i am the main cause cause of it. The moment when u told me that u couldnt carry me anymore next time when i am drunk in the lift days back, my tears burst out in my heart. I dont know how to put it in words but the feel of my heart is like its gonna cry that kind of feeling. And this sentence u told me had been going thru my mind as and when my mind isnt occupied with things. This words is really hurting my heart intensively compare to all the hurting stuff that u mention before.. - " i couldnt carry u when u are drunk again next time "

2010-09-03T00:08:00.002+08:00

The Unanswered Prayer

Finally i am back again to blogging:D.. Hmm this seems to be the place whereby it had accompany me thru the ups and down of my life.. Whenever i am feeling happy or and joyous moment i would come and pen down my happiness whenever i am feel down this place would be a place for me to tears down my pain.. Life is like a nv ending circle, revolving the cycle that wat others or other's others had gone thru and it might be the same case study that might happened onto u.. This is life, i suppose? perhaps? If there is a choice, i would like to keep it simple and sweet.. Thats all, no complication, no fansination.. Perhaps i need a time machine, yea? Just to keep myself at the sweetest, most enjoyable and precious moment of my life and nv get out of it. Be it work, r/s, friendship etc etc.. Life would nv be the same again once time flies pass.. It applies to all.. Sometimes looking at others having their sweetest moment in their life really envy me.. Wondering how sweet my life would be when it occurs on me.. The world is nv fair, u may had urs alr but others may have it longer than u do. No matter how much u tried and how much u fought for it or even how much effort u put in, it maybe not be the turnout that u expected. Humans are weird creatures, they really really need motivations to spur them on and keep them moving. Motivations however are always the hardest gift that one party will give to another. Which is to says that one party needs to give in to the other to cheer the other party up by a simple encouragement be it by actions or words, it would be good enough to spur the other party to work even harder.. Thats the way of life i guess? Perhaps i just need a space for me to talk to and pen my feelings.. Sometimes i really wants to spend time and tells u how i feel and talk to u about certain topics but i just dont know how to conquer the fear i had for u to start it. Your expression gives me the impression that i shouldnt say anything and do any affections to u.. Sometimes i really really envy others of their sweetness and enjoying their every moments with their love ones and having their private time tgt peacefully and understanding one another shortcomings. But all this is just too far fetch for me i guess or i am thinking too much? Jesus Christ i need u to answer my prayer. Amen.

想要把你忘记真的好难

思念的痛在我心里纠缠

朝朝暮暮的期盼

永远没有答案

为何当初你选择一刀两断

听你说声爱我真的好难

曾经说过的话风吹云散

站在天秤的两端

一样的为难

唯一的答案

爱一个人好难

2010-08-30T16:34:00.001+08:00

sorry... i am really sorry.
我又一次把你气哭在陌生街头
爱你...我当然爱你
自从第一眼到现在什至没人敢预测的将来
请你相信不是我不愿意改变我自已
而是一再努力又一再放弃那个软弱的自已
其实我恨透了我自已没有认输的勇气
让你受尽了不安和委屈
你是我这一生这一生最最最害怕去伤害到的人
也是我这一生这一生唯一能让我安定下来的人
虽然我并没有并没有并没有一身温纯的灵魂
但是我很愿意很愿意做那个永远照顾你的人
我的爱人请听我有颗不善言语的心
只能够看着你远处的背影

2010-08-15T20:08:00.002+08:00

Living in darkness, leading me to an empty path
Light is dim, air is thin
Hoping for a saviour arrival
To bring me out of this despire.

(10 more months to ORD!)

2010-08-06T18:13:00.002+08:00

It has been long since i haven had a good chat with mummy. Upon hearing her problems, i really feels for her. Besides supporting me financially, didnt know that she supports my gm too.. Been awhile i haven hears my mum's update.. As long as u wants me to sign on and get financially stable so that i can ligthen ur burden.. I will do it just for u mummy, even though i dont like it.. In life we just wont get wat we wants to be.. Just accept the fact.. If i sign on, its becoz of u..

2010-08-03T17:57:00.002+08:00

Woo la la~ Gonna turned 22 soon in 6hrs time:D

Birthday wish for this year..

-Watch sunset tgt with baby bel..
-Have a 4 digits personal account at the end of dec.:(
-Have many many big ang baos for this yr as my bdae gift!
-Stablise r/s, less of quarrels and more of loving and gentle-ness.:D
-Family stop pressing me for money.

2010-07-25T16:57:00.003+08:00

The pressure is getting higher and higher.. Demands are getting more and more.. Quarrels and quarrels after each.. Routine and cycle for me for everyday, every hour, every min, every sec, till i get into slp.. When this will ends? I really wonder.. I really couldnt take it anymore. The amount of load for me take on is really alot. Getting more and more each single day.. This is not my home anymore. I feel that my head, my soul, my body and my mind is worn out totally.. I really dont know wat to do.. I see no light now.. The only thing that can end everything is ending my life. This way everything could be paid off with my insured sum of cash..

My heart is bleeding..

能不能给我一首歌的时间

紧紧的把那拥抱变成永远

在我的回忆里

不用太多失眠

如果你想忘记我也能适应

能不能给我一首歌的时间

把故事听到最后才说再见

你送我的眼泪

让他留在雨天

2010-07-18T21:35:00.002+08:00

Back from my grands place.. Seen my grandfather, his senile is still maintain well at the moment.. My relatives have been saying this, if got the time please bring his grand children and ask us to make a effort down to visit him every weekend if possible.. His time is limited.. Might left us anytime.. Upon hearing this and remembered the way he dotes me and shield me from my parents scolding and canning from young till now.. My heart sank immediately.. I REALLY DONT WANNA MY GRANDFATHER TO LEAVE US!!

Was pondering over wat jie jie told me.. I need to be fall down real hard before i realise my mistake and starts to learn. She said been thru wat i have been thru now.. This are the questions she throws to me and ask me to think abt it real hard:
-How can i can be able to keep her heart when i am away overseas for long ex or rather if in future i needs to travel oversea frequently and work is she able to stablise her heart jus for me when i am not ard?

-Will she be by my side when i needs her and go thru tough time with me?

-Most impt-ly does she believes that in future , do i have the ability to provide for her needs?

-Lastly, is she really true to me and really wants to be with me..

2010-07-13T00:40:00.003+08:00

Back from batam for our 4th month trip:) Kinda enjoyable as went to explore even more places.. Like their pubs, water theme park.. etc.. Everywhere would be fun with my baby along:) Thanks for ur everything..

Sometimes i really wondered how would i be happier if i am a orphan.. How would i be if i comes from a broken family.. Would i be stronger.. More independent.. or More happier this way as compare to now.. i really wonder..

2010-07-09T22:21:00.002+08:00

Having alot of problems lately.. Really need a short getaway to recharge myself again and prepare myself for the next step of my life. As for my baby, i am lucky to have her still by my side.. Thanks for the tolerance.. U made me know how love is it. U made me feel loved. U allows me to experience my 1st love. U simply brings and liven up my life baby bel. I ONLY WANTS TO BE WITH YOU! I SWEAR! NO MATTER HOW U BECOME OR HOW U TREAT ME.. I STILL WILL LOVE U WHOLE HEARTEDLY.. MY HEART ONLY BELONGS TO BABY BEL!

2010-06-23T03:35:00.007+08:00

Baby Bel:

当你看着我

我没有开口已被你猜透
还是没把握
还是没有符合你的要求
是我自己想得太多
还是你也在闪躲
如果真的选择是我
我鼓起勇气去接受
不知不觉让视线开始闪烁
哦~第一次我说爱你的时候
呼吸难过心不停地颤抖
哦~第一次我牵起你的双手
失去方向不知该往哪儿走
那是一起相爱的理由
那是一起厮守
哦~第一次吻你深深的酒窝
想要清醒却冲昏了头
哦~第一次你躺在我的胸口
二十四小时没有分开过
那是第一次知道天长地久
是我自己想得太多
还是你也在闪躲
如果真的选择是我
我鼓起勇气去接受
不知不觉让视线开始闪烁
哦~第一次我说爱你的时候
呼吸难过心不停地颤抖
哦~第一次我牵起你的双手
失去方向不知该往哪儿走
那是一起相爱的理由对我
感觉你属于我
感觉你的眼眸
第一次就决定绝不会错
哦~第一次我说爱你的时候
呼吸难过心不停地颤抖
哦~第一次我牵起你的双手
失去方向不知该往哪儿走
那是一起相爱的理由
那是一起厮守
哦~第一次吻你深深的酒窝
想要清醒却冲昏了头
哦~第一次你躺在我的胸口
二十四小时没有分开过
那是第一次知道天长地久

2010-06-22T00:57:00.002+08:00

Everything needs to put to a stop.. finally this day has finally arrived for me.. citibank card will be suspended.. posb card also.. uob card limit at 200 max cap. on top of that 200 per mth off my salary for maybank recovery. 170 for insuarance.. 50 for hp bills.. i am left with 170 per mth to survive.. miserable pay of nsf.

2010-06-20T01:30:00.002+08:00

Oh, how about a round of applause?
Yeah, standing ovation?
Ooh, oh yeahYeah y-yeah yeah

I look so dumb right now
Standing outside your house
Trying to apologize
I so ugly when I cry
Please, just cut it out

Dont tell you sorry 'cause I am not
And baby when you know I am only sorry I got caught

But you put on quite a show, really had me going
But now its time to go, curtains finally closing
That was quite a show, very entertaining
But its over now(But its over now)
Go on and take a bow

Grab my clothes and get gone
I better hurry up before the sprinklers come on
Talking 'bout,
Girl, I love you,"
"You're the one"This just looks like a rerun
Please, what else is on?

Dont tell you sorry 'cause I am not
And baby when you know I am only sorry I got caught

But you put on quite a show, really had me going
But now its time to go, curtains finally closing
That was quite a show, very entertaining
But its over now(But its over now)
Go on and take a bow

Oh, and the award for the best liar goes to me(Goes to me)
For making you believe that I could be honest and self-less to you
Let's hear my speech out

How about a round of applause?
A standing ovation?

But you put on quite a show, really had me going
But now its time to go, curtains finally closing
That was quite a show, very entertaining
But its over now(But its over now)
Go on and take a bow
But its over now

2010-05-26T01:24:00.002+08:00

It has been a month since i last updated my blog.. Hmm time flies.. Gonna be 1 yr soldier soon.. Finally completed 1 year of my NS liabilities.. But.... STILL GOT 1 LONG YEAR AHEAD TO GO!! HAIZ.. I WANT TO ORD SOON!!! Somehow i really miss schooling life.. Although thats the place whereby i hated most last time, now i starts to miss it.. A place whereby i made lots of friends of different gender.. Whenever i think back i would laugh at myself of the silly things i do with my group of khakis, how i developed feelings for u and how long it took me to pick up again until i found her.. Whom gives me the feeling of " U ARE THE ONE " and decided to go all the way out to fight for my own happiness.. ALMOST A YEAR! But i wont forget the way how i confessed my love for u.. its so retro.. Till now when i think of it i would really laugh of my ass.. LOLS! I REALLY MISSED SCHOOLING LIFE! CAMPUS LIFE!

TO MY BABY BEL:

只有我了解这幸福感觉

美得值得去付出一切

能够遇见你认识你

喜欢你爱上你感谢我每滴眼泪

只有你明白我有多珍贵

好得值得你为我改变

请你继续温柔交换我灿烂笑容

2010-04-23T08:14:00.002+08:00

Back to COS duty today.. Cannot book out till sat morning.. WTH MAN! need to get used to this kind of life again.. really missed those down period during april.. Life is full of problems man.. In life things are nv easy ESP WHEN I AM IN GREEN.. How i hope 1 day i dont need to be worried and stress about anything..

Sometimes i really wonder, how to maintain an everlasting r/s in ns? Spending time tgt is one of the key factor to maintaining it.. But its really near to impossible doing that.. How i wish i nv had met u so early and makes u suffer tgt with me now.. Sometimes i really feels bad seeing u alone when u needs someone besides u at times.. If time could turn back, i rather letting myself feels hurt for that moment and get out of the game because i love u.. 1 yr 1mth to ORD!

2010-04-18T16:26:00.002+08:00

Clubbing session yesterday with buddies and my love baby.. Dont really enjoy it.. As in i really have no more interest in clubbing anymore.. Hmm might sounds funny this actually comes out from my mouth? Abit ironic yea? But thats the fact and thats how i feel about clubbing too - boring, torturing and fuck up!

Time for me to change! No more living in the past, Live fresh be the future! You are worth my every change! MUACKZ U BABY BEL! :-*

I AM GONNA MISS BABY BABY FROM NEXT WEEK ONWARDS, NO MORE STAY OUT! HAIZ!

I've been living with a shadow overhead
I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed
I've been lonely for so long
Trapped in the past, I just can't seem to move on

I've been hiding all my hopes and DREAMS away
Just in case I ever need em again someday
I've been setting aside time
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
Oh oh oh

I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine
I've been searching but I just don't see the signs
I know that it's out there
There's got to be something for my soul somewhere

I've been looking for someone to shed some light
Not somebody just to get me through the night

I could use some direction
And I'm open to your suggestions

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart again
I guess I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

There are moments when I don't know if it's real
Or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need inspiration
Not just another negotiation

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart to you
I'm hoping you'll show me what to do
And if you help me to start again
You know that I'll be there for you in the end
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

2010-04-16T01:55:00.003+08:00

Spent my last week of my nights off with baby bel at elementz yesterday.. Next week onwards will be staying in all the way.. Sianz BUT I REALLY MISS U BADLY, BABY!!! ALL THE BEST BUDDY SUANZ FOR UR NDP 2010! JIA YOU!!

After reading ur past post.. Somehow i feel alittle insecure.. It seems like wat u told me u had told others the same way too.. But watever it is let me naive be right this time..

To my dearest Baby Bel:

爱转角遇见了谁是否不让你流泪
爱转角以后的街能不能有我来陪
爱转角遇见了谁是否不让你流泪
也许陌生到了解让我来当你的谁
我不让爱掉眼泪不让你掉眼泪
现在永远
你就是我就是我的美

2010-04-12T03:24:00.002+08:00

Back from genting trip with baby bel.. Dont know when gonna be our next trip again lor.. Think gonna be long.. Serving ns is really a torture.. 1st - U LOSE UR FREEDOM.. 2nd - U LOSE UR PERSONAL TIME.. 3RD - BASICALLY EVERYTHING NEEDS TO SCARIFICE! WTF RIGHT? Haiz.. 1 yr 2mth and everything will comes to an end.. LASTLY BUDDIES I MISS U GUYS!! MEET UP SOON OK?

love you love you yes i love you

你听见了吗

这是我第一千遍第一万遍心里的回答

那身边的人经过的人我都不牵挂

我只去你想要去的天涯

love you love you yes i love you

你还没听见吗

能不能请你放下

放下那愚蠢的挣扎

我害怕爱情就像

盛开的花

一错过

眼泪也没有办法

2010-04-02T02:40:00.002+08:00

Hmm.. had been facing alot of problems lately.. Firstly is my bills problem.. I REALLY THINK I AM LACK OF FINANCIAL DISCIPLINE! Keep on spending without thinking.. FUCK! But whatever it is, i had come to a conclusion that i will cancel my cards and left with 1.. So i can stop spending.. To my buddy suan whom nv fails to help me with my financial needs whenever i need him.. This maybe the many times he help me already.. Although this time he can see i am really in need of cash to clear my bills due to the lost that i made recently.. He nv fails to trust me and fork up for me to pay up.. He is always be there when i need him.. Really a buddy indeed.. Seriously i feel that he is even closer to me as compared to my real blood bro.. THANKS LOT! REALLY APPRECIATE IT! For the month of april and may, think i will have to spent my time at home or do some activites that wont req much output for me to survive.. Less of cab.. Etc.. I dont wanna depend on my parents anymore as i am already a grown up.. It is really time that i need to wake up my ideas and find my way and means to earn it by MYSELF! LHT PLEASE WAKE UP UR IDEA NOW!

Secondly the problem that nv fails to reoccur since i am young till now.. I am used to it.. 22 years of my life experiencing it.. i shant comment too much about it..

There will always be a rainbow after the rain.. Which makes me loves u even more.. MUACKZ..

2010-04-01T18:35:00.002+08:00

Had an enjoyable week this week.. Hmm spent almost everyday this week with beeee.. Went ladies night ytd.. REBEL! Hmm should cut down on this kind of session le.. Haiz sianz.. Complains getting in.. Everyweek go pubbing and clubbing.. FUCK MAN!! CCB!! LESSON LEARNT: NV GET A SUB CARD FROM ANYONE COZ U WILL LOSE UR PRIVACY! EVEN YOUR CLOSEST PERSON WHO GROW UP TGT WITH U ALSO CANNOT BE TRUSTED! FUCK!!! THUS I HAVE DECIDED, 1ST CANCEL MY CITIBANK SMRT CARD AFTER NEXT MONTH WHEN I CLEARED ALL MY DEBTS! NO MORE CITIBANK CARD FOR ME! ITS OK! I CAN SURVIVE WITHOUT CARDS! EVEN THE MOST PRESTIGIOUS CARD I HAD NOW, MY UOB SIGNATURE I CAN ALSO GIVE UP! ITS FINE WITH ME! I KNOW I HAD BEEN GETTING MONEY FROM MY PARENTS TO CLEAR ALL MY BILLS DESPITE REMINDING ME ALOT OF TIMES TO CLUB LESS AND DRINK LESS BUT I STILL CARRY ON! BUT ITS OK! I CAN APPLY MY OWN CARDS AND SPENT AT MY OWN LIMITS NOW! ITS JUST LESS PRETIGIOUS ONLY! I DONT GIVE A FUCK! OK ENOUGH OF THAT.. TIME TO COOL DOWN..FUCK ALL THIS SHIT! SOMETIMES DONT EVEN FEEL LIKE COMING HOME NOW! I RATHER STAY IN CAMP 24/7!

2010-03-29T19:58:00.005+08:00

I am back from 2 nights of chalet! This week miss out our buddies gathering with suanz and gary.. Sorry guys, this sunday will make it up for u all at sentosa..

There is alot of 1st time when i am with u.. Esp watching u sleep.. Suddenly i have alot of memories of us going in my mind.. From the 1st day i know u till how i confessed my feelings to u and finally how we got tgt.. All these sweet memories will be always be kept in my heart. Loves u.. muackz

穿上洋装看着手表

时间快到心砰砰地跳

和你的第一次约会来临了

金色的阳光洒满人行道

换了新唇膏把头发弄好

要你看到我的好

喜欢看你走路充满自信

说话时候你的专注眼神

温柔的表情笑容里的天真

我相信找不到有比你更好的人

你心里理想情人是几分

是否也会有我的份

好想知道你的100分

会给怎样的人

亲爱的你不要再陌生增加我戏份

我想问亲爱的你把感情升等

朋友变成情人

可不可以告诉我标准

不要让我一直等

2010-03-22T11:47:00.003+08:00

I am back for blogging! Hmm time for me to cut down on drinking activites, clubbing session.. 1 month once clubbing is still on! I ALWAYS CANT RESIST MYSELF FROM THE TEMPTATION! FUCK! But this time round, i really wanna honour my words!

I have made u the 2nd most impt woman in my life.. With u around my life is complete and i will learn to take care of u and sheltered u from all the storms that are on ur way.. Please believe that i will love u with all my heart always baby bel as u the ONE AND ONLY WOMAN THAT I WANNA SPENT MY REST OF MY LIFE WITH.. muackz :-*..

PS: Please be patience with me baby for the moment.. 1YR 3MTHS to go - I PROMISE and we both will ends all the suffering and pain that we are going thru now..

2010-03-07T21:47:00.002+08:00

Went beds with suanz and gang to beds for 2 days.. REALLY FEEL SHAG MAN!! Hmm.. Congrats to my buddy for passing out and getting the 3 black chervons.. ALL THE BEST FOR UR COMMANDER LIFE IN UNIT! JIA YOU!

Loving u is so difficult.. No matter how much i dont wan it to be fake and wants it to be official but i will still respect ur decision.. The day where u can put down all ur burden is the day we will be tgt.. its gonna be a long long journey for me in this new chapter of my life.. :(

2010-02-27T13:57:00.003+08:00

Had our buddies chat last night at ms open space chambers. After that went to beds for another round.. Hmm this time my turn to get seh.. LOLs.. SUANZ U WILL BE NEXT! Wahahahahahaha.. But really thanks them for accompanying me thru the night.. haha. they are always there for me when i need them.. PS: GARY U ARE ALSO PART OF US! U ARE NOT PSK.. SORRY ABOUT YTD!!:(((((((((((((( PLS FORGVIE MEEEE!!! Hmmm.. Have no fucking idea where should i go later.. REBEL? OR ST JAMES? or jus going out with buddies for movies then supper..

Buddies says i change for the good.. they are happy to see me changing now.. But is changes really good? I hate the changed ht! FUCK.. I get so fucking jealous so easily as and when u are alone with other guys or u tell me the guys that are revolving around u! I just hate myself for being a changed person.. SHOULD I REVERT TO MY OLD SELF? FUCKKKKKKKK i really dont know wtf is wrong with me also..... FUCK MY LIFE!

2010-02-26T21:25:00.003+08:00

WILL BE GOING RED WINE SESSION WITH MY BUDDIES!!!!! haha.. initially wanna go beds and rebel.. but after dinner we realise that we got alot of stuff to chat about.. TONIGHT WILL BE OUR BUDDY HEART TO HEART TALK SESSION!!!!! LETS TALK ALL OUR HEARTS OUT!!!!! BUDDIES I LOVE UUUUUUUUUUUU..

I dont know liking u is the right choice anot or the answer u gave will hurts me eventually.. i will always follow my heart and do according to wat my heart tells me to do..

2010-02-25T19:42:00.002+08:00

Have been staying out this whole week due to lack of beds in bunk.. Hmm yesterday went ladies night with gary at rebel.. Suanz was unable to go coz he need to stay in for the CAT programme. Never mind, we shall compenstate him tmr when he book out! IT WILL BE OUR BROTHERS NIGHT! Gary and me was kinda seh yesterday night.. haha But yesterday incident also make me found out that our buddy-ship the bond is getting stronger.. Hmm found out that nth can replace the 2 BEST BUDDIES IN MY LIFE! wahahhahahaa.. Thats all about clubbing.. As for my life now, there is a huge change now.. U entered into my world. U makes me care for u. U makes me worried about. U makes me miss u. U make me like u. U just simply change the entire habit of my life now.. WHY. WHY. WHY. WHY do u entered into my life and change away everything i had previously.. WHY!!! ARGH.. i really dont know wat i should do now. I am at a total lost. I jus wan to lead a simple lifeeeeeeee..

2010-02-23T19:41:00.002+08:00

Having nights out now.. And everyone is going back home to clear their stuff from sispec.. Haiz.. thus i went home instead coz i got nth for me to clear also.. Sometimes i think back.. i ooc because of? I dont like outfield. I dont like being dirty.. And today i got quite sometime in the bunk.. i reflect upon all the actions that i did to ooc.. I really FUCKING REGRET IT.. Seeing my batch mates packing their stuff to prepare for POP all these.. Haiz.. And me resting in bed.. I feel that i am not part of them.. But nevertheless my SECTION 3 MATES.. THEY REALLY ROX!!! EVEN THOUGH I CANNOT PASS OUT TGT WITH THEM IN THE LEADERS SQUARE.. MY MORALE SUPPORT AND SPIRITS IS ALWAYS WITH THEM! ALL THE BEST MY DEAREST 53TH ASLC SECTION 3 PALS! NICEST PPL I EVER MET! AND LASTLY!! I HOPE TO GET MY POSTING ASAP AND GET THE HELL OUT OF DELTA COY!!! I DONT MIND RECOURSE ASLC AGAIN AND EVEN GO INTO GUARDS UNIT!! AT LEAST I CAN PROUDLY TELL MY PALS NEXT TIME THAT I AM FROM GUARDS! I AM A GUARDSMEN SPEC! FULL OF PRIDE MAN! WITH PRIDE I LEAD!

2010-01-16T13:38:00.002+08:00

Had lots of fun yesterday with my buddies suanz, gary and guo over at beds.. Hmmm memoriable night before i fly off today for taiwan.. 3 WEEKS I WONT BE SEEING BEDS! hahaha.. Hmm will be going with buddies when i am BACK IN 3 WEEKS TIME! HOPED MORE CHIO BU WILL BE THERE BY THEN! WAHAHHAHA.. Hmmm dont really look forward to taiwan coz i dont even have the intention to go.. BUT.. treat it as going for a holiday there.. AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST.. I OOC LO!!! WAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHA

2010-01-05T16:24:00.002+08:00

For those who haven go into army yet.. They must be thinking, army is so cool? Holding guns and shoot around.. Machine guns.. Look cool in camo cream.. This was my initial tots of army too.. FULL OF MOTIVATIONS!! Until i went in.. Haiz.. Things were not easy as i tot.. FUCK YOU.. CHEE BYE.. KNN... This is the most frequent words that u will hear almost EVERYDAY! Haiz and i had enough of it.. Please return my civilian life back to me!!!!!!!! 1 yr 1 yr 5 mths more to go.. AND I AM BOOKING BACK IN TODAY! HAIZZZZZzzz!! ARMY RUINED MY LIFE!

2010-01-01T18:00:00.002+08:00

Its another brand new yr!!!!! Hereby i wishes everyone out there a very happy new yr! Hmmm started off with a countdown with suanz, gary and other frens at beds and db0 yesterday.. It was a boring and upset event.. LOLS! Got a hard time getting a cab due to the event yesterday.. So waited for a awhile and booked a cab after that and its home sweet home... AND TODAY I GONNA BOOK INTO CAMP FOR SOC RT! FUCK DELTA!

2009-12-12T15:58:00.002+08:00

ARGH FUCK!!!! ANOTHER LONG WEEK! SOC AND TSR RETEST TODAY! Pass my TSR but fail my soc.. FUCK! Next sat i need to stay behind again! I really feel fucked up! My life is fucked up! Ever since i entered ASLC or i should say army.. IT TOTALLY RUIN MY LIFE, MY FUTURE AND ALSO MY FREEDOM! I DONT HAVE TIME FOR MYSELF.. ESP NOW I AM IN ASLC.. IT REALLY A FUCKING TORTURE! No doubt i should says the training is relatively safe and also there is quite a number of nights off.. BUT WHEN IT COMES TO TRAINING.. IT REALLY EXHUAST MY MENTAL AND PHYSICAL STRENGTH.. I REALLY WISH I CAN BECOME A ADMIN CLERK OR SMTH... I REALLY DONT WAN TO BE A SOLDIER ANY MORE.. AND NEXT WEEK IS FIELD.. HOPED THAT I CAN SURVIVE DELTA'S FIELDCAMP!

2009-11-29T12:53:00.012+08:00

Went beds ytd to celebrate mummy's hsiang - (my poly mate) bdae!! haha.. after that suanz and gary joining in later.. HAD A CRAZY NIGHT YTD! WOOHOO~~ After that went supper at yishun central and its home sweet home... BOOKING IN LATER AT 8PM!! ARGHHHH!!!

2009-11-28T01:22:00.002+08:00

Went movies with guo and ee in the evening after guo accompany me to cgh to see doctor.. Watch twilight.. Dont understand a single thing coz was out for a call for a long time.. Long weekend for me to enjoy this week.. And next 2 weeks will be booking out on sat.. WHICH REALLY SUCKS! ARGHH.. ASLC was really hell for me.. Lots of long distance run and also physical torture and mental torture too.. I really wish i can end this shit asap.. Its really torturing me esp when i am in DELTA COY! I REALLY HATE THIS SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-11-15T13:57:00.002+08:00

FINALLY BSLC HAVE ENDED! Another new phase of training is coming.. ASLC!!!!!!!!! WTF!!! INFANTRY!!!! Haiz.. despite how unwanted and also how hated i am for aslc i still have to serve.. i had changed my mindset.. Just going thru the motion will do.. although it will be tough but i will try to endure till the point that i cannot take it then i ooc.. The most impt thing i hope now most is..... THEY GIVE US ENOUGH SLEEPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!

2009-11-06T22:04:00.002+08:00

END OF GRANDSLAM!!!!!!!! WOOHOO~~ Have been sleeping in mud and wearing super wet uniform for the past 3 nights to slp! WTFFFFFFFFF.. I REALLY HATE THIS DIRTY AND DISGUSTING FEELING!!!!!! I REALLY REALLY SUPER DUPER HATE OUTFIELD TO THE MAXXXXXXXXXXXXXX!!!!!!!!!!!! But its over for BSLC! 1 MORE WEEK AND I WILL BE GRADUATING FROM BSLC! Left with 28KM route march in full battle order next week.. HAIZ.. which i will dieeeeeee! Another killer for me.. nvm i will try my super fucking best to press on and pass out with my fellow mates! next fri will be my posting... HOPED THAT NO MORE ASLCCCCCCCCCCCC!!!!!! SERIOUSLY I HATE INFANTRY TO THE MAXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX... May god bless meeeeeeeeeeeee........

2009-11-01T12:03:00.004+08:00

Went phuture ytd but was super pack with ppl coz its HALLOWEEN NIGHT.. Gotta no choice cab down to db0 instead.. HAIZ it was BORING! But the drink there was cheap! Haha.. Really had a great time drinking there only.. Booking in later again.. SIANZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! 1YR 7MTHS TO GOOOOOOOO! ARGHHHHH!

2009-10-31T16:09:00.003+08:00

It had been a long time since i update my last post.. I shall update from last week.. Hmm went st james power house last week with suanz, alan and zh.. saw my poly mates and sec sch frens there.. sg is really small.. haha.. then after that monday went for UO package.. it was fun i can say.. but i dont really enjoy the process as i hate to PUT ON CAMO CREAM! LOLS.. haha.. and chervon night ytd over at chervon.. Had a fun night drinking at saf club house.. Next week will be my ex wanderer and grandslam over at tekong.. HAIZ.. SIANZ ARRRRRR.. OUTFIELD AGAIN!!!!!!!!! 4D3N again.. HOPED I WILL HAD A VERY SLACK AND GOOD INSTRUCTOR THIS TIME ROUND PLUS NO RAIN AND FUCKING GOOD WEATHER PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! 2 more weeks to pass out from BSLC!!!! and after which will be posted to new unit after that.. NO ASLC PLS!!! I AM SICK OF INFANTRY!! will be heading to phuture tonight for halloween party! WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Shall enjoy myself before torturing grandslam next week!

2009-10-17T23:59:00.002+08:00

Jus back from fieldcamp! Have been slping in the mud for 3N due to raining season.. And i am really sick of all these.. I AM BASICALLY SICK OF NATURE! I HATE TO SEE TREES, SWAMPS AND VEGETATION! HAIZ.. BUT I GOT NO CHOICE AND LAN LAN HAVE TO SERVE! Hmm went to dinner today for ah gong birthday celebration.. got a nice dinner.. After that went meet suan for coffee and home sweet home.. TMR IS BOOK IN DAY AND NEXT WEEK IS LAND NAV AT LOWER MANDAI! FUCKKKKKKKKKK! I REALLY HATE TO SERVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! I REALLY FEEL LIKE DYING NOWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!! THERE IS NV A BRIGHT PATH IN MY LIFE FOR THIS 2 YEARS!!!!!

2009-10-10T23:27:00.004+08:00

WEEKEND BURNED! LESS TIME OF BEING A CIVILIAN! FUCK! LOTS OF TESTS AND ALSO LESSON! LESS OF SLP TIME! SOMETIMES BEFORE I SLP I REALLY WONDER WHY AM I HERE? WHAT IS THE PURPOSE IN LIFE DOING ALL THESE SHIT? SOMETIMES I THINK BACK I FEEL LIKE I AM DOING ALL THESE SHIT FOR THE SAKE OF DOING IT.. BECAUSE I GOT NO FUCKING CHOICE! NOW SERIOUSLY I FEEL THAT I AM WORST THAN BEING A HUMAN AT TIMES - TO THE EXTEND THAT I REALLY WANT TO COMMIT SUICIDE AT TIME.. I REALLY CANNOT TAKE IT ANYMORE.. I SERIOUSLY DONT WANNA LEAD THIS KIND OF LIFE BUT I GOT 1 YEAR AND 8 MTHS TO GO! FUCK! I REALLY WANS TO BE A NORMAL CIVILIAN!! I AM FEELING FUCKING STRESS NOW! FUCK! WITH PRIDE WE LEAD - SISPEC!

2009-10-03T23:09:00.003+08:00

2nd week in SISPEC.. Haiz.. now i think being even a section commander is not easy at all.. Need to study lots of stuff.. Less of admin time and MORE OF WORKLOAD AND DUTIES AND EVEN STUDIES! HAIZ.. Sometimes i feel like giving up my course and just be a man and follow instructions for my whole entire army life.. If not for the sake of money, i think i wont even choose to be a section commander.. i really hoped that i can get back my PINK IC SOON! I MISS CIVILIAN LIFE! AND I PROMISED THAT I WILL REALLY CHERISH MY CIVILIAN LIFE AFTER I GET BACK MY PINK IC IN 1 YEAR 8 MONTH TIME! THE MOST SAD THING IS... MY WEEKEND WILL BE BURNED TMR TOO! CDT FOR SUNDAY! WTF! I REALLY WAN TO GET THIS SHIT DONE WITH AND FUCK OFF!!!!! WITH PRIDE WE LEAD SISPEC!

2009-09-26T18:39:00.001+08:00

1st book out from SISPEC ytd night.. AND I AM FEELING FUCKING SHAG!!!!! ARGHHH.. Maybe its the 1st week and alot of admin stuff have to be done.. i just need more restttttttttttt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! REST REST REST!!!! 7 more weeks to pass out.. WITH PRIDE WE LEAD - SISPEC!

2009-09-20T20:22:00.002+08:00

BACK FROM KL TRIP WITH MY BMT BUDDIES! haha.. Really had a great time there.. And spent quite alot.. *OPPPS* Need to save up liao.. when i go to SISPEC.. GOT MY POSTING ALREADY..

1.You are posted to
SISPEC.
2.Your vocation is
INF LDR(TRAINEE).

Not really happy about my posting coz i wanna go POLICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hahaha.. but nvm.. ARMY TRAIN US TO BECOME A MAN!!!!!

2009-09-11T20:33:00.002+08:00

Went back this morning to camp to endorse my mc.. After that went walk ard and lunch with guo at tamp 1 and century sq.. Then its home sweet home.. Went home immediately i went to slp.. Coz i am jus feel fucking tired.. My kidneys pain is killing me.. FUCK! And even when i burp i feel like vomitting.. thats really FUCKED UP! ALL THANKS TO PUBBING AND SMOKING! REALLY FUCKED UP MY LIFE! FROM TODAY ONWARDS I AM GONNA LEAD A HEALTHY LIFESTYLE! NO MORE DRINKING! NO MORE SMOKING! FUCKED UP!

2009-09-07T19:28:00.002+08:00

Bmt finally ended! Another phase of more advance training will come in.. Which means to say LESSER ADMIN TIME AND MORE TRAINING TIME! ARGHHHH! OCS/SISPEC? Haiz.. Of coz i hoped i can get into police force and become a officer there.. BUT CHANCES ARE.. ITS SLIM! HAIZ... Hmm watever it is just let god decide where i should go.. Another sad thing is.. i cannot pass out together with my section mates tmr.. haiz.. this is 1 sad thing that i will regret for life.. Down with a fever and got 2 days of mc.. I REALLY REALLY MISS MY BMT SECTION MATES MAN.. They are a bunch of fun and nice guys to train tgt with.. Going through field camp and out field activites tgt for the 3months of training make us understand and get bonded tgt.. will not forget such moments with my buddies in section 4! hmm will be away for KL trip on 14sept to 17sept... Counting down to ord.. 1yr and 9mths! AND THATS FUCKING LONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-08-07T22:18:00.001+08:00

YEA! GONNA 4D3N OF LONG WEEKENDS! WOOHOO~ SONG! Hmm celebrated my 21ST birthday with my NS buddies in jungle! LOLS was an memoriable one! haha.. AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE in 2 DAYS TIME!

2009-08-02T01:45:00.002+08:00

WOOHOOO.. I MANADED TO PULL THROUGH FIELD CAMP! HAPPYYYYYYYYYYYY! SIT TEST ON TUESDAY! ALL THE BEST TO MYSELF! HAIZ.. GONNA CELEBRATE MY 21ST BIRTHDAY IN PULAU TEKONG!!!! SAD SAD SAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAIZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!

2009-07-26T12:33:00.001+08:00

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Sianz tio PLATOON IC for field camp on mon! HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN TO ME!!!! Guys pray hard for me! HAIZ!

2009-07-18T15:38:00.002+08:00

YEAH! IPPT cat test on last monday cleared! Kinda happy with my results! YEAH! 1st week of bmt still quite slack.. Hmm but there is more to come i guess.. 8 more weeks to go!

2009-07-10T19:53:00.002+08:00

FINALLY END OF MY PTP PHASE! YEAH!!!!!! ANOTHER 2 MORE MONTHS TO GO TO POP! Monday will be the official start of my BMT and also my IPPT test again! HOPE I CAN GET AT LEAST A SILVER OR EVEN GOLD FOR MY IPPT! GIVING ALL MY BEST OUT FOR BMT! OCS/SISPEC HERE I COMES TO CONQUER U!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-07-05T20:41:00.002+08:00

Book out. Book out day! Went BEDS PUB yesterday with suanz, egg and evelyn! Really enjoyed myself! Will be booking in tmr at night.. Still got another 10 more weeks to go! And i am very determine to go to command school after my BMT.. Either OCS or SISPEC! I WANT TO LEAD A COLOURFUL NS LIFE!

2009-06-25T21:54:00.001+08:00

YEA! FINALLY enjoying my 1st book out! WOOHOO~ MANAGED TO SURVIVE FROM MY 2 WEEKS TRAINING! JIA YOU REC LIM HENG TING! YOU CAN DO IT! AIM: OCS AFTER BMT!

2009-06-10T20:43:00.002+08:00

Another wishing from MEI LI de Choon Bin today this morning for my NS! And also wishing from cunning de xiao jon this afternoon.. Thanks lots! Dage and the rest are enlisting soon after me.. All the best to them too.. Went out with suanz today to make new ATM card and also celebrate my last day of BOYHOOD today! Really appreciate ur efforts.. Thanks! All the best to u too my 7 years BUDDY SUAN AKA 王主任.. WILL BE BACK IN 16 DAYS TIME!

2009-06-09T15:33:00.002+08:00

2 more days.. Will be going to shave botak tmr for NS.. Enlisted on thurs, 1PM at TEKONG BMTC 2! Thanks for the wishing Qingyi JIE! Hahaha.. Hoped u do well and passed ur mid term with flying colours too! Will be going for some light exercises with suan later.. May the force be with me! God bless..

2009-06-04T23:06:00.005+08:00

Have been rotting at home today.. 宅男 of the day.. Evening went jog with suanz to prepare and gear up for NS.. Hmm damn sianz.. Still have 7 more days for me! Hmm but think quite alot today.. Sometimes i will feel kinda lonely dont know why i have this feelings also.. Even though i got frens by my side but i still feel that.. Hmm sometimes i really envy those ppl who have found their true love by their side and see their loving part.. And think to myself if that could happen to me how nice it would be.. Afterall i am just a lonely boy

我不需要童话故事,华丽的爱

我只求简单,平凡的爱

2009-06-01T21:22:00.002+08:00

Went to scout for uni today.. Hmm decided to enrol myself in Uni of Adelaide to study computer science. To torture myself for 2 more years in programming! LOLS! But better than holding a diploma which can be useless in the working world now whereby degree is the basic requirement for most jobs.. Haiz.. Thats the cruelty of the society. Hmm.. i am left with 10 more days to NS.. Somehow i feel lost. haha maybe not used to this kind of slacking life after working for the past 3 months.. Hmm but i shall try to enjoy as much as i could before 11JUNE when i enter the gates of HELL - TEKONG!

2009-05-31T14:50:00.002+08:00

It has been a long time since i last updated my blog.. Haha.. And i shall update it now.. Since today is my rest day. Hmmm.. shall start from last fri ba.. Finally ended my contract in NCS last friday. Gotta treat from the gals gang there.. Thanks lots for the lunch.. Then went pitstop to play board games after work.. It was fun man! After that went back yishun central with suanz to have some drinks and home sweet home at 2plus morning..

Sat went to meet our long lost buddy, gary ding tgt with suan too! Went to yishun drive thru mac sit down and chatted for like 3 plus hours.. haha.. eager to know wat our ns life will be like tekong.. Things to take note of.. Wat to bring during 1st day of enlistment.. Can wear boxers to slp at night anot.. Bla bla bla.. Hmm really chatted alot.. And also he update us his life in OCS now.. Kinda tough i must say.. But its ok.. Suffer for 9months and u will enjoy the rest of ur army life from then.. Hahaha. I think thats all for the day.. bye!

2009-05-22T21:30:00.005+08:00

Hmm after a long break from fever on tue i am finally back to work on wed! haha.. Time flies man.. Now is fri le.. Still got 1 more week to go.. And today is fang ning that batches de nyp attachment students de last day at NCS bedok.. And they will be back to NYP doing their FYP in fish tank on monday.. Seeing them makes me remember 1 yr ago de me.. LOLs.. haha but not as hardworking as them.. LOLs.. SUPER SLACK! BUT.. I STILL MANAGE TO COMPLETE MY DIPLOMA WITHIN 3 YEARS! Is really by god's grace that i can make it.. God bless.. hmm as for my work this week still managable.. not much problems as compared to mar time when i 1st started.. Managed to learn some system config stuff from omar and steph.. And solve most of the problem myself unless i really dont know then go bother them.. haha.. Really thank them for their guidance and paitence towards me.. hmm.. wat i want seems to be fulfil le.. Basic qualifications before ns.. The amount of money i desire to have before NS.. hmm the only part which is unfulfil now is to have a gf.. LOLs.. haha.. hmm sometimes i really wonder is finding ur next half really so difficult? hmm some ppl took 10 yrs to find it.. some took 20yrs.. some even took longer.. But when can i find mine.. haha.. or my standard too high already? LOLs.. But i think my req is kinda simple which i dont think is difficult leh.. haha

This are the requirement for my next half..

Basic Qualification

- Diploma level from any 5 govt polytechnics in singapore

Appearance

- Presentable can le (not those super chio or super model standard coz i am looking for a gf not model! LOLS)

Height

- 160 - 168cm(MAX I CAN ACCEPT!)

Age

- Year 1983 - 1989 (Dont like too kiddy gals)

Character

- Joyful, Sociable, Patience, High level of tolerance, Ambitious

Haha.. thats all for tat.. Gonna go and rest le.. Tmr will be going to pulau ubin tmr with suanz and aug for cycling! WOOHOO~

2009-05-19T13:29:00.004+08:00

Lacking of updates thus i will update now since i am on mc today.. Lets start from last sun ba.. Hmm went orchard party world with 3 queens, fang ning and egg for K session.. And buffet dinner at sakura.. After which headed over to balcony for some drinks and then home sweet home at 11plus..

Yesterday claim off in lieu for vesak day.. went dinner with suanz, aug, xiao jon and wee lee to db for mongolian buffet.. Suanz came later after his hollywood filming at swissotel.. And after dinner we headed to ps arcade to watch them play table soccer.. And home sweet home..

Today when i woke up found myself having fever.. Body was burning hot! Took some panadol pills and see doctor after that.. And thus was on mc today.. 3 DAYS WORK WEEK FOR ME THIS WEEK! WEE:)

2009-05-13T20:02:00.002+08:00

3 Days ON SITE! WOOHOO~ I can say its HEAVENLY! WAHAHAHAHA! Going to site is fun! Can reach office at 9.30 and leave earliest at 4pm! Really enjoying my life! BUT.. Sad to say this goodness gonna end on this fri le.. Coz steph going to bintan for holiday therefore i need to go back to bedok ncs and suffer again.. Haiz.. sad.. Hmm going to site is really fun.. Haha.. As there is only 2 of us.. So most of the time when we are doing nth and feeling very bored, we would chat and understand more about each other more.. LOLS! hahaha.. Alot of personal privacy thingy is being shared among each other.. Life our personal life etc etc.. haha.. But i shant say it out here.. COZ ITS PRIVATE! HEHE.. Hmm was being intro to facebook game, resturant city by steph today.. LOLs. We played facebook game today in the office man.. Coz it was damn damn damn boring! ITS WAS VERY ADDICTIVE LA! hahaha.. Will get hooked once u played it! HEHEE.. You guys should try it!

2009-05-10T22:25:00.001+08:00

HAPPY MOTHERS' DAY - TO ALL MOTHERS IN THE WORLD! YOU ARE THE BEST! :)

2009-05-08T22:15:00.004+08:00

Feeling a sense of nostalgia, made me come into blog and post this post today in my blog. Hmm suddenly think of my buddies.. haha.. Dont know why also.. This post is delicated to 2 of my 7 years buddies.. SUANZ AND GARY DING! Think back we had known each other for 7 years already.. time really flies man.. hmm still remember knowing each other at nee soon east taekwondo.. But dont really remember how we stike a common conversation that bind 3 of us together as buddies.. 3 of us coming from different secondary school and only meet each other for like 2 days a week and i feel that i am closer to them compare to my secondary school classmates! LOLS! Still remember the 1st time we ton over together was at sentosa when i was sec 3 and they are sec 2.. Hmm during night time when we got nothing to do, we chatted everything under the moon. LOLs. From the gals we like during that time was a popular topic.. HAHA! And we and suanz plus aug we go cruise during our 2nd yr poly time.. Hmm until now when we are about to serve NS and Gary is already inside OCS.. All these long years of friendship and buddies-ship doesnt come by easily.. Maintain it is also nv easy.. I am really fortunate to have this 2 buddies that accompanied me to go thru my so called "childhood life".. Giving me good advices always.. From the point just now in the bus when going lunch time, violence queen ask me: " Wa.. Who so da de mei li that made u quit smoking ".. I immediately think of suanz and gary! Not any gals or watever.. its suanz and gary i think of at that moment! Despite numerous times suanz persuade me harshly to quit smoking and how i refuses to listen to him, he nv give up on me.. And until seeing a disappointed expression from gary.. I knew they meant good for me.. Always never fail to give me good advices and supportting me when i am down in my life.. And also though we always jiao wei, di siao siao and suan each other we meant no harm also.. HAHA.. And so far till now we dont even have any big argument too! haha.. I will cherish always this friendship and buddies-ship! Dont forget each other after NS ar! Stay in touch always.. Hmmm i think thats enough already.. Later they say me again.. haha.. Hoped suanz and gary saw this post that i specially delicated for them! WAHAHAHAHA! BUDDIES FOR LIFE! JIA YOU MY BUDDIES!

2009-05-06T20:24:00.003+08:00

HAIZ.. Late for work again.. Due to the super good weather today ( FOR SLEEPING ).. Overslept alittle.. LOLS! Took the most expensive cab ever in my whole life.. Even broke the record i took it to IBM for work last time.. $40.40! SNAP SHOT! Really can buy 4D already with this number.. 4040! WAHAHAHAHAHA! Luckily got the 3 Queens to share the amount with me.. Despite taking cab to work.. I am still extremely LATE! LOLS! REACH OFFICE AT 9.10! LATE FOR LIKE 40MINS! Due to the jam and bad weather.. HAIZ.. But reached office still nth much to do.. Sometimes i really wonder am i a burden to the dept anot.. See they all so busy yet i contribute not much help to them except doing migration stuff.. LOLs.. Simple technical problem troubleshoot problem i also dont know how to do.. But.. The problem is.. SCH NV TEACH US ALL THESE ALSO LOR.. FOR 3 YEARS KEEP ON PROGRAMMING! PROGRAMMING! PROGRAMMING! NTH BUT PROGRAMMING! Also nv teach us this kind of simple configuration stuff in the modules. Wonder what i can do with my IT DIPLOMA after my NS. WONDERING.THINKING.PONDERING.

2009-05-05T20:29:00.004+08:00

*Dang Dang* I was LATE for work today again! Therefore took cab to work.. HAIZ.. This month gonna cost me a BOMB! Credit cards bills are coming soon.. Plus my cab fare! OMG! hahaha... Need to force myself to wake up early already and prepare faster in order to catch the company bus to work! Hmm this week is a healthy week for me.. Have been jogging daily.. And i found myself able to cope with the distance without much breathing difficulty already.. I am able to breathe more smoothly when i run as compared to the past.. Hmm for timing wise i haven take down the timing i ran.. Will be doing this next week.. This week was more like a orentation for myself.. WAHAHAHAHAHAHA.. Next week will be aiming for a silver timing and slowly improving to a gold timing.. AIM TO GET A GOLD TIMING FOR 2.4 BEFORE I ENLIST TO BMTC 2 TEKONG! YEAH!

我应该学会放手, 不属于你的执着下去也没有结果 Haiz. Haizz.. Haizzz...

解脱是肯承认这是个错

我不应该还不放手

你有自由走我有自由好好过

解脱是懂擦干泪看以后

找个新方向往前走

这世界辽阔

我总会实现一个梦

2009-05-03T01:26:00.004+08:00

Labour day went K session with jie jie at party world KTV YISHUN! Haha.. She graduating from her degree course le.. So treat me to K session! THANK YOU JIE JIE! Congrats to you! woohoo~ Then as for sat, went pubbing with suanz and aug to SPYDER! watched man u match and after tat sing 2 songs over there then went eat tua hua.. Met gary, me and suan long lost 7 yrs buddy.. haiz.. he caught me smoking with aug.. From his expression I know he is disappointed with me.. haiz.. SAD! From today onwards, 1.31am, sun morning, I PROMISE MYSELF AND GARY TGT WITH SUANZ TO QUIT SMOKING! GUYS OUT THERE STOP OFFERING ME CIGARETTES PLEASE!!! SMOKING IS BAD FOR HEALTH! ARGH TOTALLY FUCK MYSELF FOR PICKING UP SUCH A BAD LIFESTYLE!

2009-04-26T15:38:00.000+08:00

Your enlistment date is on 11-Jun-2009. Your reporting unit is TRAINING LIST BASIC MILITARY TRAINING CENTRE SCHOOL 2. HAIZ HAIZ HAIZ!!!

2009-04-23T19:42:00.002+08:00

ITS TIME TO UPDATE! HAHA.. have been forsaking my blog for so long.. hmm lets start from my work ba.. NCS EXTENDED ME FOR ANOTHER 1 MONTH! WOOHOO~ Got extra income for me to spent le.. OHH YEAH! After getting my next month pay, i gonna get myself a new watch.. As for today, company organised a skipping competiton. Was being force by granny aka violence queen to take part tgt with her as her bestie slacking queen dont wan to participate in it. But i kinda sucks at it la.. LOLs. Dont really know how to skip.. But that violence queen was champion man. 150 times in a min. Really did SCS proud la. If no one in NCS amk beat her record then she will have 150 bucks voucher man! Egg and fanta queen also not bad.. Both of them got 15 bucks voucher each. Then after lunch went NTUC for SHOPPING SPREE! LOLs.. Going shopping with a group of SHOPAHOLIC LA! DIDNT MANAGE TO TAKE PHOTO OF HOW MUCH AMOUNT OF FOOD WE BOUGHT! REALLY WASTED MAN! Thats all for work.. Hmm till now still haven receive my ns letter yet.. HAIZ.. Have been waiting and waiting but... HAIZ.. Really kinda curious which forces i will be attached to.. SAF, SPF or SCDF.. Hopefully SPF.. More slack!

2009-04-12T12:25:00.003+08:00

BURNT BURNT BURNT! I HAVE GOT SUN BURNT! Went tanning yesterday with suanz and gang to sentosa.. beach filled with lots of ppl.. learned how to played beach volleyball from the gang but still sux at it.. LOLs. then went swim in the sea with cunning de xiao jon after perspiring after the volleyball game.. Initially wanna swim to the opp small island but that cunning xiao jon keep on making me laugh during the swim and i spent all my energy laughing thus dont have enough energy to swim over.. So swim till halfway then makes our way back to the shore again.. The weather turn bad around 3plus in the afternoon, all of us went to the nearest tiolet and queue up to have a bathe before we left sentosa.. Dinner at vivo steamboat buffet resturant and home sweet home after that..

2009-04-06T19:29:00.005+08:00

5th week in scs or rather ncs now.. hmm gotten used to the office hours and the job scope that i am assigned to.. have been thinking seriously about my future that what i wanna work again.. i felt so lost.. IT, i have no interest at all.. business management, i dont like to be confined in office and do paper work stuff after my experience in ncs.. now left with NIE.. As for teaching, i dont have any experience in teaching yet.. Coz so far haven found a job that involves me to teach.. But as for my playful character i prefer a job which is full of entertainment that i can play but at the same time, i can enjoy my work too.. Have been thinking quite a few of them.. like cruise director - one who plans activities for the passenger to onboard and get fun with them, tour executive - manage a tour group and go round the world as well as get crazy together with the tour mates under my charge, singer - gets to sing as well as at the same time play games with the audience.. So far this are the 3 jobs that i had think so far that fufil my playful character requirement.. haiz.. I seriously felt that i am wasting my youth away without any goals in life.. This kind of feeling really makes me feel miserable at times.. Imagine everyday u are forcing yourself to go to work and u dont really like the job that you are in but u still have to do it.. I seriously dont know the reason why we need to work now.. Is so fucking miserable working.. For the sake of money? To kill time? To keep yourself occupied? For the sake of survival in this money minded world? If god can granted me a wish, it would be to dote myself more and feel happy in whatever i do.. Haiz.. Haiz.. Haiz..

2009-03-28T22:31:00.004+08:00

Movie just now with 3rd bro, after sleeping for more than 12 hours in the noon.. Watch confession of a shopaholic. SUPER NICE AND FUNNY MOVIE! 5 POPCORN RATING!!! MUST WATCH!!! After that went to search for executive look handphone pouch, but couldnt find the one i like.. so didnt buy in the end. Thus went back to yishun to have dinner.. Hmm next week, on APRIL FOOL DAY gonna have dinner session with FYP pals, MEI LI de choon binnnnnn, qingyi jieee and dage guan weiiii.. REALLY MISS THEM MAN!!

Hoped to be a PURE AMERICAN with blonde hair, speaks fluent american english with american accent and acts in hollywood movie with miley cyrus, isla fisher and hilton! :)

2009-03-26T21:37:00.002+08:00

Today kinda hardworking.. Walk around many dept.. ps, infra, hr and many more.. Walk around like for 2 hours then went back to office do some checking of computers then rest for an hour then go home.. But today encountered 1 user she is damn @#$%#@$.. At 1st she came there to tell me her com problem and ask me to mirgrate the com for her.. But the rest of the engineers not around and i dont have the administrator account, thus need to wait for the rest of them back from meeting then i can inform them to do the migration. Till around 4pm or 5pm then they are back in office so i inform them.. bla bla bla.. and after that i call her to come and collect the lappy.. then she tell my snr engineer: " why they everything also dont know one? " Hear this statement really makes my blood boil.. HOW THE FUCK I KNOW WHEN THE ENGINEERS THEIR MEETING END! HOW THE FUCK AM I GONNA HELP HER TO MIGRATE HER LAPTOP WHEN I AM NOT GIVEN THE ADMIN RIGHTS TO THE SERVER! FUCKING HELL, CANNOT WAIT THEN DONT MIGRATE UR COM LA.. ARGHH. Finally release my anger today here.. hoped tmr would be a better day!

2009-03-25T20:54:00.002+08:00

Another day gone just like that. Another rotting day today. haiz.. Sometimes i wonder if i can clone myself and allowed my clone to go to the company and sit down there for 9.5 hours a day.. How wonderful it would be man.. Near evening time went to SS dept with dlyon to solve that COW problem. That COW really call at the wrong time man.. Call in at 5plus when ppl are about to go home.. wth man.. haha.. then after that went back to office.. they tell me and egg that tmr need to go to synergy at bukit batok to check 200 computer tmr and it has to be done within 1 day! When i heard that i almost fainted.. Sianz lor.. haizzzz... But nvm coz 1 more week to PAY DAY! HEHEHE!

A meaningful song specially delicated for someone special and important in my heart like you:)

没原因就是喜欢你

在初次相遇有重逢的心情

深呼吸让心动隐形

完美的爱情是无声的旋律

听我听你不确定的语气

等我等你放下你的犹豫

嘿如果你轻轻闭上眼睛

我会明白你做的决定

cause i believe 那幸福不灭的定律

在你手心会有谁给你的美丽

静者恒静就让我的心安静地守着你

祝福不用回音

没原因就是喜欢你

就像海眷恋天空般的心情

你前进看着你背影

就足够世界无条件的放晴

你如果已爱上他的姓名

爱如果已没有我的空隙嘿

只要你可以永远开心

我会情愿渐渐被忘记

cause i believe 那幸福不灭的定律

在你手心会有谁给你的美丽

静者恒静就让我的心安静地守着你

把祝福送给你

oh i believe cause i believe

那幸福不灭的定律

你的手心不一定要由我握紧

就像恒星总会有发光的原因

oh i believe 你值得被珍惜

也值得我放弃

With love,

Xiaomingxing

2009-03-24T20:47:00.002+08:00

Kinda relax today.. my dept only got 5 ppl today.. the rest of them went ncs.. haha.. finally i finish the love novel by paulo coelho - eleven minutes! Nice book i can say.. about a brazilian prostitute walks of life finding her true love. A kinda meaning book as i can say.. Some ppl took 10 yrs to find their true love while some took even more time to find their true love.. Its all depend on feelings and fate i can say. And also maybe a little of paitence.. And nuturing a relationship takes time to grow too..

10 years, 20 years or even 100 years i will wait for u coz somehow i have a feeling telling me that : " U ARE THE ONE! " :)

2009-03-22T11:21:00.003+08:00

Finally i removed my tagboard.. Just because of some plain freaking childish ppl around i got no choice but to remove it! Just cant understand why this kind of ppl exist in this world, waste our earth resources and also does no contribution to the society - In short they are " trash "

Hmm this week basically is a tiring week.. Work load is starting to pile up.. More and more ppl migrating their computer each day but still we need to work double hard in order to finish this project on time. Seen my results in E service and this sem did fairly well A B C grades.. woohoo~ In year 1 and 2 being able to see an A in my results slip is near to impossible.. haha but year 3 onwards gotta a couple of it.. so was kinda satisfy.. Decided to hold a professional job after my NS. Either becoming a engineer or accountant. Most likely i will go for accountant. Coz most company in singapore will invite either lawyer or accountant to join their board of directors if u are really a capable person.. Another thing worth mentioning is that me and suanz we FINALLY GRADUATE FROM THE PROPERTY AGENT IN HOUSE COURSE! We dont need to go there every mon wed and fri anymore from 7 to 10pm! Wa.. i can say its SUPER TIRING MAN! WAHAHAHHA.. Hmm ytd went ps to find suanz and aug to have dinner then we headed to liquid gold to have a tower of beer and watch everton and portsmoth match there.. And headed home after that..

Target: A 6 digit bank account by the age of 28!